you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize