i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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