how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
