You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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