Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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