PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
