that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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