Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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