Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
