I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
