Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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