I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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