I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize