i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
try to milk me bitch
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