Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
