Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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