is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
