i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
