so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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