There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
