the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
