Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
two words...techno handjob
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Randomize
