is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I think your dad took our porno
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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