Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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