I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
