Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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