guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
