is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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