I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
