Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I look better un-naked...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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