he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
