Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
