my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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