im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
