sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
