you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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