I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
