I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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