We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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