Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Houston, we have a squirter
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
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