So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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