fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize