He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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