one might say we're banned from that church
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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