Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize