i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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