It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
