I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
