yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
