WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize