i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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