We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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