drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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