When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
