If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
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