Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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