I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Randomize
