Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I believe in your delicious
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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