Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
