FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
