i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
My penis needs a shock collar
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Can you repeat that, but with context?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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