two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
