3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
