I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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