sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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