HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
