What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
