My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Couch. On fire.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
