Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
