I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I think I sprained my soul last night
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize