come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
